What’s Your Parenting Style?

What is my parenting style? What type of parent am I? It’s a question I have asked myself from time to time in the three years I’ve been a parent and I don’t really know. Labels don’t hold much sway with me and I don’t think I can definitively put myself in any one parenting box.

My husband and I are alert but laid back, impatient but patient: we follow some routines, we discipline, have rules, use a lot of the theories of gentle parenting and are awed at the sometimes sanity-saving techniques of playful parenting.

What I am coming to realise, however, is that this doesn’t make us parents without labels – instead we are covering ourselves with labels in an exuberant and scattergun fashion, like a toddler let loose with a sticker sheet…

So let me give you a flavour of just some of the ‘techniques’ that we use in what is actually a veritable pick and mix of parenting boxes:


Lazy Parenting – this is normally required in times of parental discomfort such as extreme tiredness or illnesses. There are a variety of practices that make this style work and I have covered them all in a previous blog post here.

Positive Parenting – Forget what you might already know about this acknowledged technique. Our definition is lovely and simple and involves saying yes. This technique normally occurs due to two reasons. Firstly, parental tiredness – the ‘I can’t be arsed to parent so just, yes, have whatever you want’ moments. And secondly, conversely perhaps, parental joy – the ‘I’m so giddy with love and wish I were a toddler that, yes, let’s all have whatever we want’ moments.

Double Parenting – this involves both members of the parenting team engaged in one task on one child: perhaps one parent is putting the shoes on and the other is simultaneously applying the sun cream. This is not entirely useless and often creates a little wry humour as you self-consciously acknowledge the ‘over-parenting’. Please note that I believe this is almost entirely unique to parents of one child.

Separation Parenting – almost completely opposite to the above, this is where a parenting team is out and about and one parent wanders off without warning. There will be no communication just a gentle meander from one party to look ‘over there’. If you are the parent wandered away from this is an incredibly annoying technique. If the wanderer takes the child then it is infinitely less annoying and these little moments of peace and quiet should be cherished and viewed as a small life success.

Anarchy Parenting – when both parents are in situ but there is no clear leadership. Both parties feel disinclined, almost stubbornly so, to step up to the leadership plate; decisions and questions are left unmade and unanswered. As the parenting team becomes rudderless, the child becomes increasingly feral and the domestic environs uncontrollably shambolic.

Panic Parenting – this, by its very nature, will be required when you are least expecting it. One moment you are relaxed with your child, perhaps enjoying a little stroll round the park when: ‘What does dying mean? How did the baby get in your tummy? What’s that dog doing to that man’s leg?’. Your tone is even and calm, but your brain is entering a heightened state of EMERGENCY. Panic Parenting will be fully engaged shortly afterwards, requiring great fortitude and bluffing skills to see yourself and your child through the situation without lasting damage to either party.

Detachment Parenting – ‘It’s time to leave the playarea. It’s really, really time to leave the playarea…You need to get out of the car, you can’t stay in there forever…No I won’t be buying that giant cuddly Twirly Woo…’ As you physically prise your child’s hands off the play equipment and the giant cuddly Twirly Woo or their entire body out of the car you will find yourself fully embracing detachment parenting.

Bed Parenting – one of my favourites. See how much entertainment you can direct from your prostrate position in bed. This is perfect for early mornings and sleepy afternoons. It works particularly well if you have a small supply of stickers, books, soft balls, dirty (or clean) washing that you don’t mind being moved around and a list of ‘things’ the child can fetch from other rooms.

Helicopter Parenting – this is one I aspire to. Indeed anyone who can deliver this technique successfully is a model of parenting prowess in my opinion. Involving a complex twirly arm movement, fast running and a loud whirring noise, most parents settle for the more achievable but less catchy aeroplane technique.

Peaceful Parenting – ahhh…a sigh of relief is almost mandatory with this technique which occurs any time when your ‘I’ve got lots of energy’ child is, shhh, sleeping.

 

I’d love to know what techniques you implement in the parenting of your children, do let me know!

 

Boy eating next to the bin
Yes you can eat that. Yes you can eat there…
Life Love and Dirty Dishes

 

Pink Pear Bear

Mumzilla

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54 thoughts on “What’s Your Parenting Style?

  1. Brilliant post, as always! Our parenting techniques are all based around being excessively tired, including the ‘blow up doll’ which involves lying on a sofa being climbed over and grunted at, and the ‘disbelief’ which is effectively just staring at the little one whilst he inexplicably sits for an hour in a kitchen cupboard. #FridayFrolics

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  2. I think our parenting techniques are probably a mixture of a number of the above. Lazy parenting for sure, but also positive parenting (who doesn’t want to say yes to an adorable toddler?) and double parenting, especially when an unpleasant task is involved, ie administering eyedrops to a very angry Popple. Bed parenting is great. I give the Popple some laundry to ‘sort’ and it keeps her busy for ages. #FridayFrolics

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    1. Oh yes double parenting has its uses doesn’t it. Ahh I love that you are a yesser, sweet! And I agree an adorable toddler, true. An overtired feral one…not so much! Well unless the yes keeps them quiet for a mo… Thanks for commenting

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  3. Haha – I think I’m a mix too! I’m going to try this new method of helicopter parenting – sounds more fun than the one I currently do! &, yes, double parenting definitely does not happen with more than one kid!

    Thank you so much for linking with #FridayFrolics. Hope to see you again next week!

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  4. I generally choose to describe my parenting using terms like “attachment,” “liberal” and “loving.” I’m pretty sure these would all be described somewhat differently by my mother, with words like “lax,” “undisciplined” and just plain old “bad” entering the fray! #bigpinklink

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  5. This is a great list. I like to think that I tick a few of the kinder boxes but detachment parenting leaps out at me, only I call it fishwife parenting! Trying to be less shouty and accusatory and more magical, good cop mum. Not faring especially well so far…! #bigpinklink

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    1. I keep reading that as farting. Um not sure what parenting that would be!? Ahh fishwife parenting, yes I can see that! Ahh I like the idea of magical mum…that’s a new one for the list. Honestly it could go on and on…I was practising child-led parenting yesterday: ie. Being dragged around everywhere by my boy ‘come and see, come and see’. Maybe it needs a sequel. Thanks for commenting X

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      1. My farting is second to none 😉 ah yes – child led anything is highly enriching, brave, and ultimately knackering.

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  6. Ahaha I love this! I think we’ve embarked on a number of these, too – especially lazy, bed and positive parenting 😂 Oh and we love a bit of double parenting for applying sun lotion, dealing with enormous poos and cleaning him up after messy dinners!! Your definition of helicopter parenting is brilliant. Hilarious and lovely as always, Lucy. #bigpinklink

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  7. Oh, I love this post!! I love all the styles, especially the panic and lazy parenting ones. I think I am a much a bit of everything. It made me giggle to think thank goodness I am not alone. Thanks for sharing with #bigpinklink

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    1. Ah thank you El. We had a complete double panic parenting moment the other night. Two parents, one story time and then ‘where do you go once you die?’. We got the giggles, poor child. Thanks for hosting #bigpinklink

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      1. Eeekkk! Not those kind of questions so close to bedtime. That would be probably send me into crash panic mode.

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  8. Big fan of bed parenting here. Big fan. I also like your version of helicopter parents… I didn’t even know this was a thing until a few weeks ago. Had I read this first I may have gone on to believe that was exactly what it meant…#chucklemums

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  9. Helicopter parenting is a newbie on me – glad I went on the google to find out what it is! Compared to my 70s upbringing I probably am an over indulging parent but I’m rubbish at spinning my arms tee hee! Great list, am probably all of the above #chucklemums

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    1. Get practising!! I hate how there’s a term for everything, I’d much rather see people charging about being helicopters than worrying about whether they are over protective etc. Ooo I got a bit serious there, sorry. Glad you googled, could have led to an embarrassing conversation at some point! Thanks for commenting X

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  10. To be honest I’m not really sure what we do. It’s all a bit of a blur but certainly encompasses most of the styles described above. Not the helicopter one sadly! I do a lot of the panic parenting and to be honest my lazy parenting methods actually work inversely because somehow the more tired I am the more I make myself ‘OVER-PARENT’. In other worth it’s a bloody mission… Fab post x #bigpinklink

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  11. I love this! I try as much bed parenting as I can get away with at 5-6am…and then it’s very alert parenting to stop her from climbing on everything in sight 😉 Ah it would be fab to be the calm parent one day xx #bigpinklink

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  12. I seem to be on the receiving end of separation parenting a fair deal and yes it is rather annoying, to say the least. I love all of these they all have merit in our house, right now I am enjoying a much deserved (if I do say so myself) bout of peaceful parenting, hurrah for me. Loved reading this lovey xx #bigpinklink

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  13. Great post! Lately, I have been reading Parenting with Love and Logic. I like a lot of the principles and ideas in the book so far, but I haven’t finished. Lots of giving the child choices and making them more independent.

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