If parenting was a driving test…

If parenting was a driving test, today I would have failed. It’s just been one of those days

I let Mr Tumble babysit LJ while I had a showerMinor Fault
Not amazing parenting so it goes on the list, but I do this pretty much everyday – it works really well for me as a post playtime, pre facing the world interlude. He’s in the bedroom and I’m in the ensuite (not Mr Tumble, LJ. If Mr Tumble were in my bedroom that would be weird. And disturbing.).

I forgot to take LJ’s shoes out with usMajor Fault
It’s fair to say I don’t have an amazing track record of packing the right stuff for LJ when going out. I’ve been quite creative in my time with piecing together clothes for him while out and about but I am proud to say I have never forgotten his shoes. Until today.
We went to the seaside. You are forgiven for thinking that this is a great place not to have shoes. It was a pebble beach. And LJ is not a child that likes the feel of things on his feet.  My back and I heard A LOT of ‘Mummy….UP’ today.

He carried a door handle around with him ALL dayMinor Fault
I don’t have a massive problem with this but it was big and heavy, and got hot in the sun. I’m no expert, but even I can see that this is not an entirely age appropriate toy for an under-two.

No shoes - check. Door handle - check
No shoes – check. Door handle – check

I have COMPLETELY run out of milkMajor Fault
No blue top, no green top. Nothing. Andrew is at an away game, I can’t just nip out and get milk. My nearest family member lives 40 minutes away. I have the best neighbours but I’m too embarrassed to ask. I considered watering down Greek Yoghurt for LJ tonight but thought it would be too disgusting. I think LJ will be ok but the real tragedy of this situation is that I will have to forego my first-thing cup of tea. This may seriously impact on my morning parenting skills and result in more minor faults for tomorrow’s repeat test.

LJ ate cheese and (dry) Shreddies for dinnerMinor Fault
I’m not 100% sure I’m completely to blame for this one. LJ is really off his food at the moment and cheese and shreddies are fail safe options. I also wanted to make sure he had some calcium since he wouldn’t be having any milk (see above). Dry shreddies mean the bowl is easier to wash up too, so really there are positives all round.

I’ve called this jelly ‘boob jelly’ one too many timesMajor Fault
You know when your baby is a baby and you say anything because they are a baby? Well at some point the baby will become a talking, copying toddler and you, as mature grown ups, will have to censor. That was today for me. LJ reads this book with EVERYONE, it is a grandparent favourite in particular. There is nothing wrong with boobs but I’m not relishing the moment when my Father-in-law gets the full force of LJ shouting ‘boob jelly’ at him.

image
It so is though isn’t it??

Result:
3 majors and 3 minors
FAIL

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8 thoughts on “If parenting was a driving test…

  1. That handle thing is such impressive toddler work. “I laugh in the face of all the age-related plastic crap you’ve filled our home with. I choose this completely random door furniture instead! “

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  2. This is such a great post idea!

    My milk related MO is planning a trip out mostly because I have realised we need milk, doing other stuff (to make it feel worth having left the house), returning home & realising I did not get the milk. No idea where that falls on the driving test scale – far too daft to be allowed near the car, I expect!

    I LOVE the door handle! It is the most amazing thing I have seen today. Just casually hanging out…with my door handle!

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  3. Thanking you. I think I should have/could have expanded it more to be a better analogy of a driving test but it was getting on, I was getting tired! Ah yes the old going out to get something and not getting it trick. So funny, do it all the time!
    He has no interest in the door handle today and instead is obsessed with a remote control that is ‘pretend dinner’ (the position of pretend lunch is already taken by some lego bricks).

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