There are three people in my life who consistently ‘offer’ me annoying and unwelcome advice and opinions. I don’t know these people brilliantly, they don’t know me that well. They certainly don’t know LJ so basically I wish they would just LEAVE ME ALONE!
Here are a few of the gems they have passed on to me and what, on a ranty day, I wish I could say in return (rather than what I do say which is generally mmm, oh right. Anyway funny about that freak rainstorm/hailstorm/snowstorm/sandstorm the other week…oh look at the time, must go byeeee’).
Positive parenting is lazy parenting
Well no. Lazy parenting is not positive parenting (or what I think of as positive parenting). Positive or gentle parenting is not permissive parenting either. Lazy parenting is letting CBeebies babysit your child. Which I do regularly. So have a go at me about that.
You need to leave him on his own a couple of times a week somewhere. It’ll be good for him.
The magic ‘it will be good for him’. HOW DO YOU KNOW!? How do I know come to think of it? Maybe it will, maybe it won’t. You’ve been saying this since he was NINE months old.I know you feel guilty about your situation and I’m sorry about that but please stop saying this to me. It’s boring.
If you breastfeed, you’re a hippy
Where to start!!?? The only thing you can categorically say about someone who breastfeeds their child is that they are a woman. ANYTHING else is conjecture. Please don’t judge.
You’ve got to sleep train him…two hours of crying last night but I didn’t give in
I don’t want to. In my situation, with my life and the way LJ sleeps, that would be a horrible thing to do to him. And maybe you felt you had to – I can understand that – but it’s weird that you feel proud enough about it to post it on facebook. Please don’t normalise ‘cry it out’ and please don’t tell me what to do.
He bullies you
Um, yes. He’s a sodding toddler. Don’t they bully everyone!? No seriously, some bedtimes I think you’re right but then I try to remember that it is just a moment in time and that maybe actually he needs me. I’m happy doing it the way I’m doing it. Please don’t bully me about that.
Just shut the door and walk away
No, no, no, no, no! Do you know, I’m not actually sure I like you very much. LEAVE ME ALONE!
The reason I can’t or won’t say any of these things in ‘real life’ is because I actually think we’re all just trying to do our best as parents and I would not presume that another parent needs my opinions. If they ask for them, then fine…I’ll tell them, but I really hope I tell them in a way that doesn’t sound like I think they are stupid or mean for doing something or believing in something different to me. We are all parenting experts in our OWN children, not anyone elses.
Oh I feel so much better! Even more so after reading ‘a two fingers up at unwanted advice‘ over at Motherhood: The Real Deal. And if this topic resonates with you, it will make you feel better too! So how do you cope with unwanted advice? Any good conversation stoppers you can pass on?