A Moment in Time

There are harder things in life than being a parent to a healthy happy child and Andrew and I know how lucky we are. But there is no denying that it can all get a bit much sometimes and parenting a baby that won’t go to sleep or stay asleep is especially challenging.

We’re in an unsettled patch at the moment…Little J is one of those babies that if something is bothering him he will struggle to fall asleep. This could be teething pain, a cold, a developmental leap or maybe he’s just wondering which sofa he hid his favourite tractor under. Whatever it may be, it’s hard on him and us. The next day feels a bit grumpier. He gets tired, we get tired. He tries and tries to sleep but then needs another cuddle, meanwhile we want dinner and a glass of wine.

And of course that’s the point isn’t it? He needs us and I would much rather have a cuddle with my son than all the dinners and glasses of wine in the world. One day Little J will be Big J and I’ll probably need more cuddles from him than I’ll get, so I should be banking them now.

And yet still I parent at this time feeling as though I’m doing it all wrong; as though every ‘parenting expert’ is in the room and Supernanny is peering through the keyhole, all shaking their heads in disappointment. But they’re not here…in fact when it comes to sleep I wouldn’t give most parenting experts the time of day, let alone house room.

We don’t leave LJ much…’controlled crying’ and ‘cry it out’ are just not for us. When there is nothing bothering him, he settles to sleep straight away. When something is bothering him I’d rather he ‘told’ me and we learnt how to deal with it together to begin with. This does mean I have to dig a little (a lot) deeper sometimes come 6pm to find the energy, patience and love he needs…

A few months ago I was driving home from a rare evening out. LJ hadn’t settled to bed so we were late arriving to the party. He then woke up and wouldn’t settle back down so I left Andrew out and drove home to help my mother who had resorted to watching Crufts with LJ. I was frustrated, upset, tired and sure I had done something terribly wrong as a parent that meant he didn’t go to bed that night. On the way home Radio 4’s Poetry Please was taking my mind on a much needed wander and then the following was featured. It struck a chord with me and I’m revisiting it again today in preparation for tonight…it could all be a LOT worse and it will all one day be a distant and probably very happy memory.

All Things Pass – Lao Tzu

All things pass
A sunrise does not last all morning
All things pass
A cloudburst does not last all day
All things pass
Nor a sunset all night
All things pass

What always changes?

Earth…sky…thunder…
mountain…water…
wind…fire…lake

These change
And if these do not last

Do man’s visions last?
Do man’s illusions?

Take things as they come

All things pass

Time

 

MaternityMondays
Advertisements

9 thoughts on “A Moment in Time

    1. Definitely, but it is so hard to remember in the middle of the night isn’t it!? I can’t believe what a short amount of time the really wakeful hard stuff is in the grand scheme of things, but how much it took over my life.

      Like

  1. This is so true and so worth remembering as a parent. It may be hard but it is transient and nothing lasts forever. I often imagine what Supernanny or someone would say if they saw me and it’s never good! Sometimes I wish someone could tell me what to do other times I think, sod em 🙂 thanks for linking with #MaternityMondays

    Like

    1. Supernanny and I would NOT get on! I know exactly what you mean…I spent half my time with a baby searching books and the internet for ‘answers’ and then the other half deciding I didn’t agree and would do it my way anyway…having gone thorough paroxysms of guilt that I was going to ensure my baby never slept through the night. He does, it’s ok. Thanks for hosting the lovely #maternitymondays

      Like

  2. I have the same outlook in that I can’t leave my baby to cry. I figure that if she’s waking crying it’s for a reason and she needs my help to get back to sleep. We’ve just had a good two months of very disrupted sleep due to teething but it’s slowly getting better, it’s so important that these setbacks will pass #MaternityMondays

    Like

    1. Ahh yes they will. It’s so hard to remember at the time but so worth reminding yourself of isn’t it? Hope things settle now for you post teething, my boy really struggles with his teeth…definitely the biggest cause for us of night wakings. He’s nearly two now and I’m trying to enjoy the (mostly) uninterrupted sleep before his back molars start moving!

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s